If you missed part one of our top ten countdown of the year’s greatest stories, click here and catch up. Otherwise, let the games continue.

5. Calling all Peeps to Whitney’s Crack Den — Before she filed for divorce, which we’ll get to shortly (trust us), Whitney Houston was harboring a deep, dark secret—one her sister in law Tina felt compelled to share with the National Enquirer.

It seems while Clive Davis and Cissy Houston were gathered around trying to figure out how to get Nippy back in the studio to fulfill her contract and record another album, Whitney was holed up in her Atlanta compound playing with sex toys and smoking crack.

Tina Brown, who admits in the story she used to get high with Whitney, said the songstress had lost complete and utter touch with reality, spent days talking to herself and passed the time by satisfying her sexual needs with dirty toys. Anyone who doubted Whitney was living in squalor in a crack den found it tough to ignore the photos that showed her popping into a mini mart at 4 in the morning sans wig, wearing pajamas and a fur and demanding Cheetos.

Of course, as we all know now, Whitney is sober after multiple stints in rehab, and we wish her the best, but for a few fleeting months, images of Whitney getting re-birthed in the River Jordan followed by the mess that was Being Bobby Brown and the cracked out aftermath that followed has us damn good and entertained.

4. Kelly vs. Clay vs. … Rosie? — It started as a fairly innocent run-in. Clay Aiken slapped his clammy hand over Kelly Ripa’s mouth on live television and, taking offense, Kelly replied… ‘Oh, no no… I don’t know where that hand’s been, honey.’

And it probably would have stopped there. But that Behemoth Rosie O’Donnell opted to weigh in, accusing Kelly of making a homophobic comment and attempting to brand her as anti-gay on The View. Kelly called in to defend her honor, telling Rosie she should know better, and received her share of support from guest co-host Sherri Shepherd.

But the real drama is what Rosie essentially said about Clay, because before saying Kelly would have handled the situation differently had that been somebody else, she led into the discussion with… ‘If that had been a straight man, if that had been an attractive man…’ So in defending Clay’s honor, Rosie essentially outed him and called him ugly.

But yeah, Kelly’s the one who owes him an apology.

Flowers have been sent, apologies offered and all three stars seem to have moved on. But oh for the video replay I enjoyed in the hours after Clay-gate.

Click here to see what we said back them.

3. What Happened to Everyone’s Panties? — Not so much an event as an epidemic, 2006 will forever be remembered as the year Hollywood celebrities stopped wearing panties. We’ve seen Lindsay’s! Paris’! Pink put on panties, but Cameron Diaz came dangerously close.

But for all the cooters we saw and shunned, nobody stepped out in a short skirt, no bottoms more times this year that Britney Spears. In the weeks following her divorce announcement from Kevin Federline, she stepped out with no panties a record four times—and we’re only counting the times we spotted official cooch.

It took Britney a couple of weeks to catch on to the fact that when a man puts a camera way down low as you’re sliding in or out of limo, perhaps it’s best to lay a jacket down—a strategically placed hand maybe. Britney finally apologized to fans for her post divorce behavior on her Website a few weeks later and has since been making a habit of wandering around in pants. She can wear whatever she wants under those—just beware of potential chafing.

Here’s hoping in 2006, little lacey bottoms are all the rage again.

Click here to see what we said back then.

2. Whitney Kicks Bobby to the Curb—After fourteen years of putting gay America through pure hell (minus the “It’s Not Right, But It’s OK” years), Whitney finally came to her senses and filed for divorce from Bobby Brown.

Gay bars offered drink specials. I had friends driving around town honking horns. Whitney even celebrated by going down to the Laguna Beach DMV and getting her drivers license renewed. A week later, she stepped out with Clive looking like a million bucks, putting to rest rumors she’d smoked so much crack her teeth fell out… though they could well be veneers, but still.

The best part is, it seems like she was telling the truth. Official paperwork was filed days later and we have yet to see pics pop up in the tabloids of Whitney rolling around in some gutter somewhere with a bottle of Boones and a pipe.

And if Whitney’s really gonna sober up and go it olo, what better place to do it than Orange County, surrounded by a bunch of rich, white Republicans (Asians too). Here’s hoping the new album is full of fierce tracks—and Bobby B. doesn’t get a dime.

Click here to see what we said back then.

1. Star Jones Gets Her Ass Fired — Hands down my favorite moment of this year… of any year. And why? Because I unapologetically loathe Star so much I actually reveled in her misery.

And I can’t think of any better way to say that than the way we said it the first time. So allow me to take you down memory lane with an excerpt! …

Along about the time Barbara Walters announced Rosie O’Donnell would be joining The View as a replacement for Meredith Vieira, the conversations began. Would Joy Behar be announcing an exit soon? Because it seems to me the only thing that separates Joy from Rosie is the fact that Ro likes to mow.

And as we’ve all seen over the last several months just how well Joy and Star seemed to be getting along (about the time Joy told Star to get off herself and start talking about stuff people gave a shit about during her boob job scare, it became apparent they were on the outs). So, it seemed only natural one of them would have to go.

But then talk turned to the fact that it was Star who’d be getting the ole’ heave ho. You see, America hasn’t really liked the bitch since she married a homo and sent AmEx the bill. And they really lost interest when she dropped a ton and said it was all in her diet. Diet my ass, lady. You can’t lose the equivalent of a Volvo by suddenly switching to Lean Cuisine. Surgery, a trainer, electroshock therapy, a lobotomy? Doesn’t matter what you did, but fess up, lady!

And so, word is, around the time Rosie was announced as the heir apparent to Meredith’s throne, Star was told her services would no longer be needed. Barbara insists ABC gave Star the ax months earlier, but the idea that they cut the bitch the same day they gave a dyke a deal makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.

Now here’s where the story starts to get a bit sketchy. According to Barbara, Star had been prepared for her last day for months. But Star, never one to go down without causing some sort of a commotion, spilled the beans two days early, catching the ladies (even blondie) off guard! They held hands. They cried. But the look in Barbara’s eye said more than “bon voyage.” “Casse toi conasse” is more like it – that’s “get out ho” for those of you taking notes.

Not to mention the People Magazine exclusive that leaked minutes after The View went off the air, in which Star says candidly, “I was fired.”

The following morning, the former fatty was but a distant memory. Her face had been edited out of the opening credits (I wonder what poor schlub ABC got to pull an all-nighter for that one), three chairs surrounded the table instead of four and Barbara, the picture of professionalism, told America that after months of pretending everything was “the same” at that table, it had become impossible, and Star would no longer be appearing on the program. Holy shit! That’s, like, the ultimate slap. Word is Star only had another two weeks to go. She pissed those ladies off so much, they couldn’t even take that? That’s some shaky ground, girls!

So what’s next for the diva of daytime? We now know she’s got a semi-syndicated show on AM radio (that’s career death, for those of you trying to find it) and she says she plans to work on legal advocacy for foster children and teach middle school in Harlem. Parents all over Harlem are rolling quarters for prep school transfers next year.

Thanks for your time and your love this year—your dedication to this column has made it one of our most read in the history of our family of sites, and I thank you.

Now—here’s to more shit hitting the fan in 2007.