Tisí the seasonówhere the Cineplex is littered with romantic comedies, Oscar bait and a whole lot of crapÖ and weíve got all three for you this week (plus some gratuitous and much appreciated skin from a bevy of beautiful men). Why not get the skin out of the way first, since I know most of you are just dying to know which film in theatrical release has men parading across the screen wearing nothing but theirówell, nothing, and weíll leave it at that. Itís Eating Out 2, of course, sequel to one of the filthiest gay comedies of all time while managing to maintain the filth and pile on some actual shining moments of comedy in the process.
The big sell here is newcomer Marco Dapperónot so much because anything he does on screen is revolutionary (heís your typical boy from the sticks turned metro). But because three minutes into his appearance on screen, he drops his clothes and reveals rippling abs, a butt you could eat the International Passport Breakfast at IHOP off of, and a gorgeous, glowing co Ö well, you get the picture. Heís so bloody hot, itís ridiculous.
This time around, Marco plays the maybe gayóand ex boyfriends Kyle (Jim Verraros) and Marc (Brett Chukerman) are going to battle til the death to see who gets him between the sheets first. Meanwhile, filthy Tiffani (Rebecca Kochan, she of the pussy queef in the first film) will take it any time, anyplace. Itís admirable, really Ö you go girl!
The gags are predictably gross (one bit involving Kyle trying to prove his manhood by going down on a reluctant Tiffani is particularly in your face) and weíre not talking anything highbrow, but this is the sort of movie you watch after two cocktails and pray the line to the bathroom is non-existent in case you feel the need for some private time midway through. Itís also a really nice relief from all these flicks that talk of genocide, adultery, war, incestóironic that the ìmost wonderful time of the yearî brings such depressing shit to theatres.
Speaking of such bubbly subject matter, fans of Cameron Diaz will be happy to know sheís perky as always in the new romantic comedy The Holidayóthis time around sheís playing an uptight business woman with seemingly no connection to her emotions, but that doesnít stop her from flitting around like a 12-year-old school girl at a JoJo concert, eyes all a twinkle, her goofy laugh in full force, her head half cocked as she spins around the living room performing a mortifying air guitar solo to ìMr. Brightside.î Sheís classic Cameron Diazóno stretch, just the girl next door who makes you laugh (and occasionally question why we continue to even attempt to buy her as anything but a California beach bimbo).
Thankfully, sheís counter balanced by Kate Winslet as Iris, the woman she swaps homes with, both attempting to escape their shattered love lives. Kate, per usual, is the heart and soul of the movieówe laugh with her, cry with her, and while Cameronís off in England shacking up with Irisí brother, played by Jude Law (and believe me, no one in England is that tan come Xmasóbut thankfully, heís yummy Ö with a spoon), sheís making nice with a 90-year-old former film pioneer, played with gusto by screen legend Eli Wallach. And after a while, she catches the eye of equally down on his luck Jack Black, who once again makes you look past the fact that he resembles a Hobbit with his winning personality.
No surprises hereóeverything is very vanilla, all the time. But if youíre looking for something to with mom this holiday season, or perhaps the thought of an uber bronzed Jude and Winslet doing laps in the pool sets your sparks off, itís a good enough time at the movies.
A not so good time at the movies is TuristasóOK, perhaps not a fair introduction. Allow me to rephrase.
The movie is crapóitís like a hack job Saw, and considering that flick isnít exactly revolutionary, you know Iím talking real low fare. The plot doesnít even really make sense, other than to say, yet again, that when traveling outside the United States, you basically want to chisel an imprint of your passport into your chest.
On the plus side, because much of Turistas takes place on or near the beach, weíre treated to the double whammy of seeing Josh Duhamel parade around shirtless (heís the kind of man you sell your kids for one night with) and, ladies, you get hottie Aussie Melissa George, although her braided attempt at going Bo Derek in 10 just kind of makes her look like a PJ Harvey knockoff.
Itís gory, though not unmanageably so, and while the skin is a bonus, this is the sort of thing you sneak into when the movie you paid to see lets out.
And now the one you should pay to seeóI mean, really. No need to scrimp for coupons or try and pass your twink boyfriend off as a 12-year-old to get the kidís price. The History Boys is one of those movies you get your ass to now.
Never heard of it? In a nutshell, this adaptation of the Broadway show tells the story of a group of coming of agers prepping with their esteemed faculty of teachers for a shot at testing into Oxford. One kid is gay, with eyes only for the studly lothario playboy he lusts after in the shower. In a random twist of fate, he too might have gay tendencies, seducing his male teacher more out of an attempt to see if he can get away with it than an actual interest in seeing his hoo hoo.
But, in all seriousness, itís rare a coming of age drama that taps into the plight of balancing the stresses of achievement and expectation with the very real highs and lows of growing up. And the fact that they handle the gay characters with such acceptance and warmth is refreshingósomething we see far too little of in movies dealing with young people today.
The guys arenít bad to look at either, and in a perfect world, this is the sort of film weíd see being recognized come Oscar time.
Join us next week when we try and figure out if anyone actually went to see Mel Gibsonís new movie and we debate the plusses and minuses of casting a pig opposite Dakota Fanning.
