Guys Next Door (* out of five stars) So long, Sandra Dee. You too, Annette Funicello. (Readers, if you don't know who these two ladies are, please consult your friendly Google representative.)
The days of the naive, sweet "girl next door" are gone. Today's girls next door are a completely different breedómore minx than Mouseketeer, if you know what I mean.
Apparently the same can be said of the "guy next door," if Ariztical Entertainment's latest release is anything to go by. Their Guys Next Door chronicles the lives and times (and bods) of a slew of average Joes. Heavy emphasis is placed on the bods, of courseóthis is an Ariztical release, after all).
Unfortunately, you don't get to know these friendly, neighborly guys very well. Sure, you get to see them lounging around in the buff (and doing all sorts of other activities in the buff, tooólike running on a treadmill, using a boogie board and painting a bathroom), but that's about it.
Luckily, there's plenty here to keep you watchingóif only to giggle at the cheesiness of it all. I swear the music was stolen from the Weather Channel (you know, those "local forecast" segments that use Muzak from the í70s)óit should go without saying that it doesn't exactly conjure up the proper "mood" for watching such a film (and, yes, I use that term loosely).
Also worth noting: The over-the-top transitions from one scene to the next. I won't ruin the "surprise" for those of you who plan to rent or buy the movie, but suffice it to say it's a jaw dropper (unfortunately I don't mean that in a good way).
Is there any part of Guys Next Door that's actually worthwhile? Well, a few of the actors/models/whatever-you-want-to-call-them are easy on the eyes. And, as I mentioned earlier, there are more than a few moments that will make you giggle (in an "I can't believe I picked this up" kind of way, but still).
Unfortunately, there are some truly embarrassing moments as wellólike the guy in the second-to-last segment who strips to cheesy jazz from another decade. If youíre that guy, you have my sincerest apologies for pointing you out in this review.
If that's your thing, by all means pick up a copy of Guys Next Door. I, on the other hand, will be looking for ways to recapture the 96 minutes I spent watching it.
- Bryan Ochalla
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Alias: The Complete Fifth Season (*** and a half out of five stars)
Alias is one of those shows that had me hook, line and sinker from the first twenty minutes of the seriesí debut and didnít let go for about 48 hours. I say 48 hours because for two days, I essentially watched every episode of seasons one and two back to back on DVD. I cried with Sidney (Jennifer Garner), loathed Sloane (Ron Rifkin), wanted to hop in the sack with Vaughn (Michael Vartan) and knock back Martinis with the diabolical Irina Derevko (Lena Olin).
I was a tad more sluggish with seasons three and four, mostly because Iíd caught up with the episodes live on TVópartially because of the gradual dip in quality, but by season five, when creator J.J. Abrams and Garner jointly announced the show was in its last season, I sat up and paid attention. It was the end of an era for me, and with Garner preggers, Vartan leaving the show and Olin coming back for a few key episodes, I knew the episodes leading up to the finale were going to rock my worldóand they did, mostly.
A problem, one Alias producers couldnít really have predicted, was Garnerís pregnancy. While it certainly allowed the actress to channel emotions weíd never before seen from her on the show (the induced labor episode is one of the finest performances Iíve ever seen out of Garneróin fact, itís one of the finest moment Iíve ever seen on television, period). But because Garner spends most of the season with child, her gallivants around the globe and hi gloss spy assignments are at a minimum, and they are what made Alias the show it became in the first place. Instead, theyíve added a new recruitóthe able enough Rachel Nichols as Rachel Gibson (how original)óto fill her shoes, but she never feels like much more than a stand in until the real deal returns.
The fact that producers chose season five to introduce a slew of new characters is also a problem. One has to wonder if the intention was to keep the series going with a fresh faced cast, but when the ratings took a nose dive, that plan was abandoned.
The plot, unfortunately, is so convoluted at this point you have to be a die hard Alias fan to get half of whatís going on. But for those of you who have tracked the show from the beginning, let me proudly declare that season five manages to tie up all those loose ends weíve been carrying around since 2001 and even introduce some new twists we never saw coming. Sidneyís relationship with her father Jack (Victor Garber) plays out in a fitting and highly emotional conclusion and as for that damn Rambaldi, well, hold on to your seats, folks. This is one climax youíre going to need a sedative to get through.
Extras include a behind the sceneís look at the showís 100th episode, directed by Garner.
- Ross von Metzke
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An Inconvenient Truth (**** out of five)
Al Gore first gave his traveling slide show/lecture on the global environment decades ago. After his White House stint, heís taken it on the road again, and the climate changes that have occurred in the interim have only strengthened his arguments.
This film presentation of his lecture is accessible, comprehensible, well-organized andóreally!ófun. Itís chock full of charts and graphs, animated sequences and striking visuals; and it is well organized in presenting lots of complex information with crisp clarity. The film is unexpectedly entertaining given its sobering message.
Amid stunning images of melting icebergs, belching smoke stacks and the all-too-familiar spiral of Katrina hitting New Orleans, Gore delivers well-reasoned arguments and the basic science of global warming documented by the scientific community, if not the Bush administration.
Comparison photography shows the North and South Poles shrinking, melting away with the ice fields of Canada, Greenland and the Himalayas. The Himalayas provide 40-percent of the worldís drinking water. The Artic Circleís permafrost is thawing. Antarctica has shrunk by 40-percent in 40 years. The big meltdown will wipe out coastal communities world-wide, causing massive population relocation. Flooding in one area relocates precipitation to cause drought somewhere else. Higher temperatures facilitate soil evaporation, crippling farming and inducing famine.
While natural fluctuations in weather cycles have occurred over the millennia, our current technical capabilities allow us to inflict a monumental impact on the planetís delicate balance.
An Inconvenient Truth delivers the message of the moment. All other political and social considerations will be moot if the planet degrades to point of not being able to sustain human life. Goreís persona here has been described as the college professor whose classes you never missed. Heís personable, relaxed and charming, funny and articulate.
If only this Gore had campaigned for president.
- Ann Yarrabee, TLAVideo.com
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